letter to someone who hurt me
I owe you my life
Even though childhood was nothing but strife
I judged you as I grew
Nothing I did ever pleased you.
I hated the way you sent me to play in the snow that day
You said children love the snow.
Oh boy how much you did not know.
I longed for the sun and my friend number one Ahsop
She would not have left me all alone.
Put me in a cold damp room on my own.
I have to thank you for showing me how to avoid hurting people when my mind is a void.
Again I must say
a great big hi for the letters I wrote to you.
That you sent back With red lines underneath each word I spelt wrong.
Then put the right spelling at the side.
They blotted out all my blue.
I now understand you only wanted me in the literate society be understood
And look good.
But all that red sent my head back to bed.
It only served to make my skin tough just like raw hide
Make me the letter world avoid.
Mother I have to tell you the world you found from books where words abound.
Painted you a picture in your head where you can escape the harshness of the physical world.
Was and is constantly in my head.
No written words together strung. Can sing to me a better song.
Now I'm older and wiser. I can see you were only trying to help and protect me.
Mother perhaps you thought I was broken
But in reality my mind is only different.
My mind makeup is such that words jump around. And letters try to shout a different sound.
So bed is deb and dumb is bum
Dont ask me to ever see that mum is the same as mum.
I thank you in you older years this mind of mine you understood.
So mother of mine I forgive you and myself
I have jumped off the word hiding shelf.
I have a new friend called spell check
Soon to be replaced by A.I.
So now I can in the literacy world get by.
Love you mother thank you from a wayward daughter.
Now I am older and you are gone
I can sing my own song.
I'm glad I'm me
I'm glad I can see
The me who is hurting inside
Because that is where I hide
Ashamed by me disability birth
And my muddled mind
That no cure can they find.
So mother your intentions were good and you made me strong in the end.
But mother I would rather have had you as my friend.
Now healing I am
I'm not in your can
I now chose how to live
No more the sit up straight at the table
And no moreflst sheets on the bed that is made using hospital corners.
You see mother you did not break me
You made me
Who I am
And how I am
So thank you now I forgive me
So I can finally be free.
I love you I fear you I honour you my mother my teacher and my guide
For without these lessons you gave
That had me shaking in my shoes.
I can truly say I am finally free
Now I give back to you your actions so you too can be free.
Demici Space 